I have several friends where one of the partners is slender and gifted with a high metabolism, and the other partner is more generously proportioned and doomed to calorie counting. It occurred to me the other day as I was visiting with one of these vivacious couples that like many of us in partnerships we are often responsible for each other.
As a child I had a girlfriend named Christy. She was hysterically funny, with a voice that could make angles weep. Christy was gorgeous and large. As a kid, in what they now call 'tweens, I noticed that other folks weren’t always fair to her…and neither were her folks. Many times Christy decided she wanted lose weight. She was very active and popular and never lacked for events to keep busy, but the kicker for her was her mom. Christie’s mom could guilt a girl into eating an entire roast chicken, two helpings of mashed potatoes, four ears of corn and a whole peach pie at one sitting. I know, because I got asked over a lot. Christy’s mom was painfully thin. Mom would then make comments, like “Oh sweetie, you're getting so big.”
Now, I’m no Dr. Phil, but I can spot a train wreck and I know that most of us are in some way responsible for the way the other folks in our life relate to food.
When our partners turn to us and say, “How about dessert?” we need to think through the answer. (“No way, Chubby” is never the right answer, by the way.)
I’m very lucky when it comes to having a great food partner. My partner recognizes my need to eat before I go into melt-down. Over-hungry is not a good time to make food decisions. We both eat lots of fruits and vegetables and neither of us begrudges the other occasional calorie indulgences. We both avoid high fats, because he’s genetically at high risk for heart attacks and I’m not capable of digesting them. This turns out to be a food marriage made in heaven.
Back to my vivacious couple: Mrs. Mac is a fabulous chef. The woman makes Paula Deen look miserly with her Southern Style Home cooking. Mr. Mac? Yep, he’s packing an extra 150 since he met his beautiful little bride. Easy to do. Right? Been there done that, own the scale... So even though Mrs. Mac isn't affected by her divine high calorie cooking, she might be loving Mr. Mac to death. (Yes, we could ALL just eat less. But do you? Sounds easy, but 34% of obese Americans would disagree)www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm
Slender partners are often accomplices to their heavier counterparts. We need to recognize that our eating habits can be kryptonite to others, and if that person just happens to be the person we want to have around for 40 or 50 years…it might just be worth investigating some Farmers’ Market snacks. I recommend cherries, apricots, peaches, sautéed (olive oil!) onions, salad greens with mixed herbs (instead of heavy dressing use a little vinegar/oil/Mrs. Dash), strawberries…the choices are many. Get out of the junk food aisle and steer clear of the boxed frozen food section. Eat dinner together and remember that beautiful, magical person you hang out with is partly your responsibility to maintain (and vice versa!). I'm glad my family loves me unconditionally. I'm also thankful that they recognize my need to be fit and healthy and help me stay on that path.
