I realized today how many single animals there are in the orchard. Must be lonely. I’m considering opening up an internet dating site, something along the lines of eharmony.com or maybe more craigslist singles.
Young Male Cougar seeks plump dim witted white tail Doe for a quick bite.
Mama Mink organizing speed social prefers sleepy poultry, fat voles and young muskrat.
Big Bull Snake finds conversation tedious wants short term relationship with small Rattlers, Voles or Orchard Mice.
Beaver looking for long term relationship with tall healthy wood, prefer expensive bark in nice rows.
Pheasant invites insects to cocktail party.
Robin Red Breast too busy for mate; likes diamond fruit, not too ripe. Please leave nest alone.
Coyote in search of…anything. Not particular; Likes fur, feathers and fat. Bring it on!
Maybe it should just be announced through a large megaphone by an interpreting Babel Fish (for those of you not versed in the Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy…Run to your nearest library). We could throw a Biannual Crescent Moon Ball in the Corn Field and everyone could come wearing masks. I myself couldn’t stand the excitement, but perhaps a Coliseum type affair would go over well. We could sell tickets and those into Gladiator sports could ring the hill with their night scope opera glasses and settle down for a ghoulish dance.
What do you think?
KW
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